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I cant quit with the Owls this week….

What a pirate might listen to while harvesting honey:

Seattle is all sorts of soaked and drab today with Winter whispering in our ears all the bad things he has planned for us very, very soon.
Days like today are good for the soul.
Meanwhile, indie explorations continue to turn up a few gems now and again.

Press play:
Wild Nothing – Chinatown by musicmule

Click through for 109 more, shot over the weekend.
Im tired of my “coolpix nikon” camera, Im buying the new Canon xltnf 5000 whatever in hell it is Rebel blah blah blah 8 million dollars later etc etc I just want a photo without whitewash is all, sometime this week but before the honey harvest of course. My new camera will shoot video in HD.
Just sayin..

Now for a reader’s question sent via text: did you swim? The answer is yes I swam, much to the dismay of the entire camp, I swam. It was like watching a drenched gnome laugh at a dirty hippie, but I swam damnit!
Last year around this time I skinnydipped at another mountain lake, horrifying everyone nearby with my beloved ass dives where I pretend to go deep only so I can flash a bright, shining white ass into the sun. Its like the bat-beam except worse. Its a phenom, let me tell you.

Good night. Im going to my palatial cave where I will sleep on nothing less than 20 million layers of comfort, beating out the Alpine granite Ive been using for the past two nights. In the morning for breakfast I will have cold pizza and internet followed by a check on some beehives and then a few hours in Red Dead Redemption, as opposed to the rude oatmeal and cold winds for the past 2 days.
Up there is me drinking a hot Via in the middle of a icy blast of wind, just yesterday. Yeah thats right, its Starbucks.
It was a fine trip but its always good to be home after a few days gone..no?

Sunday night at Command Central: Im back from two nights spent deep in the Wilderness, processing photos and notes while listening to some of the stuff stuck in my head all weekend.

Taking off shortly, joining an expedition to the very beating heart of the North-Central Casades in search of stars, fresh caught mtn trout and high country solitude. This is the second backapck of my life not taken alone so its still new to me but the crew is a good one and we will have our times Im sure.
Two nights in the Wilderness is always just what you need, no matter what. The snow level hit 6000′ last night, the bears are out in full force getting last minute berries so I cant imagine any better possible time to go: Freezing temps and marauding bears.

Heres something for your weekend:

The “color photo craze” continues, this time with Hitler and Co. Its hard not to look at over and over again. Most of these were just released for the first time ever. Hitler up close and in color.

Its honey harvest time over at Shipwreck Honey and there is a another video in the works, keep an eye out: Shipwreck Honey.

I discovered The Awl last week when researching Juggalo’s and Juggalette’s. I hit the jackpot, this blog is one of my new favorite places. See for yourself: The Awl: Be Less Stupid.

Since Winter seems in a hurry to get here I thought its a good a time as any to unroll this years #hashtag for shred. Last year we used #stokeland to let our twitter homies know what was up and where we were; this year when in the mountains on the shred, use this: #gnarnia

I really like Hungover Owls.

from last August, and a taste of the next 3 to 4 days.

Watch the barely breathing twitter (on the right sidebar) for real time video/updates.

Check it out.

In less than 36 hours I am assuming post as first mate aboard sailing vessel Wandering Star, Seattle on a three day sail around the Sound. Captained by Jerry Ceis and including the freshly minted, honorary pirate: Dave Henderson.

Cabin boy: as yet unknown.

my favorite part of this post was adding the tags.

About below: (Faceplant Rant) There are a number of things spellcheck missed, yes. I was and still am on a tear about the subject, yes. See I had about 20 minutes to churn that out which left little time to do much else besides click “publish”.  Maybe later I will return and polish it up. Maybe not.

My phone is utterly jacked, If I had your number before, now Ive lost it. When I destroyed the Faceplant App off my phone it took most the private directory with it, a good 70% I reckon.

Text or email me your number with your name so I know who you are and can save accordingly.

And now a return to regular broadcast.
Look it has Fins!

Me my Shark and I from Chuck Patterson on Vimeo.

Phone Apps. Phone apps for this, phone apps for that, shopping, gaming, eating, drinking, fantasy- leaguing…you name it they’ve apped it. Iphone is the King of all Apps and has gone so far as “proving” that Iphone Users have more sex than say…..Android based users. Like me. The good news is that there’s an App for that. If it turns out indeed that I don’t have as much sex as an Iphone sex App user, then there’s a pill for that. A pill to erase the gloom brought on by a godamn App built  by a society that says even if Im having sex 2 times a day in every place you can conjure, in every way you can conjure, it still isnt enough because somewhere in the kitchen/Living room/car/car trunk/truck/truck stop/truck bed/car dealership/restaurant …wherever in hell Im having sex at, there’s an Android based device lurking nearby and therefore my (sex) life is less fulfilling.

If i quit the Internet for one year, in totality of absolute elimination of exposure….like say…the Amish, what would it be like after the 12 months is up and I log back in? No email, no stupid twitter, no lolcats….just me in a cave with a torch ablaze scratching my balls in between gutteral, out loud thoughts/grunts. I gave up cheeseburgers once, and I really do have a cheeseburger tattooed on my arm. I dont have the internet tattooed on my arm, sounds like this might work.

Let me tell you about my Facebook App adventure:
Facebook sang her filthy harlot song from stormy shores littered with the bodies of those gone before me yet last night I answered her soiled call, sneaking into the Android marketplace and downloading an App for Faceplant that seemed to answer my main needs: keep the device uncluttered with typical facebook gyre/offal while updating all my contacts with (yes I know this is silly) an image. Pictures are better than words right? Why fight through the heavy muck of an analog name directory on your phone when you could say….just flip though to find a photo of the person your trying to text/call. Its all I wanted, its all I needed yet Faceplant managed to stick a shiv in my side and keep walking down the cellblock like nothing happened. I got the kitchen sink when I downloaded this App, i mean seriously: kitchen fucking sink. It was like picking your way through a condom strewn alley on your way to a needle exchange to pick up a fresh set of points for your…you know….diabetic mum.
Let me explain: Most of you on Facebook I actually KNOW IN REAL LIFE (whatever that even means anymore) and therefore I already and organically have all your pertinent info, addresses/numbers/firstborns social security #’s etc. Some of you however….were cross pollinated to faceplant via here, Ninja Motorhome. Now I have all of your info too, every last coordinate, phone number and dirty little address. It reminded me of a rape kit except its all digital. I saw a few weeks back how the the founder of Facebook, known fondly as Dicknose, was stalked by a hired gun to photo every aspect of his life and then turn in said photos to contractor for internet publishing with the aim of beating Dicknose at his own game: relinquishment of all privacy/anonymity. Turns out Dicknose has a squatty little Asian g/f who sucks down shit from Starbucks that I cant even pronounce, carrys sheet cakes across streets, lives in a modest little hut somewhere south of here and I don’t know what he drives but they showed that as well, Im guessing it was a SUBARU and he was likely inspired to buy it after watching that whole “My Subaru saved my life” bullshit where the jackoff white collar scrote drives into a junkyard to see the car that you know….shouldve killed him but didnt so now instead of being stupid hippie Suby scrap, his Subaru is some sort of Omnipresent Being. Now instead of rape kit, Im thinking its Knight Rider Kit.

What about the other fantastic pile of shit commercial Subaru put out called “Honest and Virtue wins” where the douchebag dad tells his cheeseburger kid to build his car any way he wants and then watches from behind the door while the little bastards lathes out a wooden car, which then wins blah blah who gives a shit blah and the ride home is pregnant with awkward silence because the piece of shit father cant express to his son how proud he is.
Fuckheads with poor kids who dont know anything different than being the poor kid of a noncommunicative fuckhead dad. I feel bad for that blonde little porkchop with his lonely wooden car in that commercial.
See, our generation was great, it really was and heres why: We actually stood a chance of survival, knowing better, our parents talked to us, we were the dregs of a national movement that gave a shit about Family instead of all this reality show this, bikini spread that, bullshit of today. Not to say that alot of you out there didnt do or arent doing a fantastic job with your kids because I know many of you that are but its simple math: you are outnumbered and increasingly so. Who am I to even bring up parenting you ask? How many unencumbered guys like me do you see out here? Not many. Single dads are everywhere. Big time. Not adding to the problem has secured my place to comment.

Alot of girls on faceplant post alot of pics of them lounging in the house with nothing on but dental floss, bikinis that have even less on em than that, alot of you have kids….point being: alot of you have alot of shit to take care of and protect: homes, schedules, lifestyles etc. Im telling ya right now, if I was a stranger and I wanted to stalk you, fuck with your head and even (God forbid) hurt you well guess what: There’s and App for that. its called Facebook and or Facebook Mobile.
Get into your profiles and take down your addresses and for Christs sake, remove your phone numbers. Im not kidding, I felt like an instant asshole last night breezing through the Facebook App….no it wasn’t even the App, it synced directly with my Android and all this wild information was suddenly right there without opening anything less than my directory. Scrub the galleys and swab your decks. If I can sit in the setting sun of Seattle Washington surrounded by beehives, covered in sawdust from the building of said beehives whilst sipping a vodka rocks and literally stumble on all this information, God only knows what would happen if I really tried.
Think about it, this matters.

They got the drop on me, I didnt know about this til now, but I did download the new Legends and Killers Pack this morning.
See you heathens in Blackwater.

Loved the guy for years, I check for a new podcast every other day or so and now I have the book: Why We Suck. Should be fine Sunday reading.

Hood Internet done gone and did it again:
The Hood Internet – Wu Daydream (Raekwon x Twin Sister) by hoodinternet

04 Disco dancers dead REMIX by Rock Steady

Kiteboarding is about to kick in and its the ultimate warmup to what really matters: Winter/Snow/Shred.
Its been quiet here lately, backpacking has been superseded by beekeeping, that’s a huge part of why. Any of you reading this on Facebook may laugh, Ive been hanging out there more than here lately even though its takes 2 to 3 days now for the feed turnaround. I should just burn mine to the ground.
Its gonna hit 95 degrees today so we are gearjamming outta here and headed to a lake.
Stay cool.

Surfer Blood has been on my radar for a number of months, Jabroni’s.

(even if surfers are getting way to much credit these days)

gnarly jar of milk in left corner

*The old country road is now in color, these photos are stunning in many ways but most stark to me is they are no less than 70 years old. Here is the entire set.
Consider the speed of the past 70 years, from there to here.