bye to these….

via these…

while listening to this…

to reach this…

broke a finger last night using incredibly bad safety practices at the new house (power tools).
Everything I need to know about broken fingers and arms I learned in a Frontier handbook from mid 1800′s. Time to teach the woman a thing or two about setting your own bones back in place.

Epic day today, running the old man between mine and his worlds. He was shopping for new glasses, I for a new pickup canopy. We both scored, huge. I suppose piracy runs in the blood even if neither of ours has ever met.
We concluded the morning and then accordingly spent the afternoon in the longshoreman joint: Ebb-Tide Room celebrating our victory’s. If you know Jerry then I can spare you the choice language he reserved for the voice of Verizon navigation this morning. If he had his way though, the company would sink within one day. Trust me.
I’ve had years to figure out what my life would be like without the old man but I’ve never spent a second on the topic because it just doesn’t make sense too. Its quite possible, between generations….maybe we were made for each other. I love the old man, bottom line. He says he is lucky to have me and I agree simply on principle but secretly, between us: I’m the lucky one.
As usual.
goodnight.

He says he likes this song. Probly cuz I told him it was on the Jimmy Buffet station even though it was really Sirius XMU.
Mazzy Star – Lay Myself Down by white_pants

I need a shop, I don’t see how next year will work without one. Not a storefront, just a work-space. Its a huge jump and i cant fully wrap my mind around it yet, a year ago none of this was even reality.
What in hell have I built? This thing is moving fast, I love it even though it takes all I got: I spend 60-70 hours a week downtown so I can afford to spend whats left in a beehive or on a hotel rooftop.
And still the best thing about keeping bees is that it leaves my ski season alone. The worst thing about keeping bees is that it wont pay for the kind of ski season I prefer.

That was a daybook entry written well over a month ago. Since then my world has gone sub nuclear, wedged tighter and tighter into a space between the corners of actualizing dreams and feeding the corporate maw its all consuming and somehow, recently thankless dues. The pressure is on to make the leap but I’m stubborn and refuse to give up just yet; I simply wont jump for the wrong landing.
I need a couple days away to think and write. Last year this time I was coming home from the Arctic Circle…..its high time I got back there.

for me its not about the hugs and muffins or unicorns and rainbows. I’m not an optimist by any means, maybe better described as a constantly disappointed pragmatic with a harrowing world-view. What does that mean, practically? Get as much done with whatever time I’ve got left: MAKE SHIT HAPPEN.
i don’t read it to “get motivated”, I read it and throw it back in my own face to remind me how precious little life I have, even if I live to 90. I read it and slap myself with it to make sure I spend what I’ve got well. In that way, in my own weird mind that makes me frugal. I simply cannot afford to waste any time.
Lets go.

sometimes Im stunned I still live in the lower 48.