Henchmen let me help you waste whats left of your day by examing your suddenly rosy childhood. Oddly enough Ive been sporting my childhood apple pie, televangelistic, I wouldnt hurt a fly, Golly I cant wait to meet your folks hairstyle all week, for the first time in 16 years. I didnt like it then and I dont like it now, kinda like Facebook. And now: The dreaded Family Portrait, except its not your family….you hope.

And no, the shithead pictured above isnt me nor is that the cave dwelling clan amongst whom I was reared. It does however, bring back fond memories of singing in nursing centers on Sundays to old people too busy pissing themselves to really care.
Or the fun I had when it was time to tell everyone what we wanted to be when we grew up! My brothers were astronauts and doctors, missionarys and preachers. Then there was me: I wanted to the the garbage man so i could retire a beach bum. I had lofty dreams.
How did I fuck those dreams up so badly.